So Friendship Is...?

So over the past few days which have been full of fights and very mean things said, I've tried to think about what friendship really means. Basically a friend of mine gave me an ulitmatium that if I did not be friends with his girlfriend(who has called me not nice names and never shown an interest in meeting me until after we dated) I would lose him as a friend regardless of my feelings in the situation. And so in case you were just overly curious about what those feelings might be, well you're about to find out. So Tyler and I started being friends in about March or April when Joe introduced us all. During the summer our constant(and i mean four to five times a week) hangout group was Tyler, Joe, Jasmine, Molly, and me. So as you can imagine we all got really close in the relatively short period of time. Well from about May, Tyler decided that he wanted to date me. I was very hesitant because while I trusted him as a friend, I did not trust him in the dating area because of Chelsea, the girl mentioned at the top. She was his ex girlfriend that he had been in love with and he constantly would bring up in conversation. Although he did promise me that he was over her and that if she came back, then it was just too bad for her, my instinct told me that no matter what I was going to lose to her in the end..it had happened with other guys. But being me I ignored that instinct and chose to trust him instead. So I fell for him. By the end of the summer though we both decided to call it quits because of different schools and how busy we were both going to be, however he assured me that he still cared a lot for me. It hurt more for me because I fell more at the end of summer compared to him falling more at the beginning. So college begins and everything is going well. We've both gotten used to being friends and as far as I was concerned we were better friends than before we "dated".
So the first night of classes he asks me if I'm still visiting on Friday. I said yes I wanted to see my good friend. He asked if it was cool if Chelsea came. I told him that as much as I wanted to hang out with some of the old summer group, I did not want to hang out with her. It wasn't her personally. It was more of my own feelings and how it was a slap in the face because I knew he wanted to get back with her. I didn't care if they got back together, I just didn't want it thrown in my face especially after trusting him all summer when I knew he was still in love with her. I think that's fair thinking..don't you? So he grudgingly agreed. Then the Thursday before I head down, he lets me know that since it was bid night that she might stop by for a few minutes and he asked me to please be cool about it. So I agreed..because what's a few minutes right? Even though this girl had badmouthed me and threatened to fight me. Both of which I ignored. This made me a little hesitant to go down because I really wanted no drama. I hate it!
Then the trip to Troy University came. You might have read that incredibly dreary poem that I wrote..yeah that followed this..incident. So it was my first Friday as a college student and I leave to meet up with Tyler down at Troy since he had already come back home twice since he moved. It was going to be me, Joe, Clara(Joe's girlfriend and a friend of mine) and Tyler hanging out..maybe hit up a party or something at Troy. That changed abrubtly. The three of us are hanging out at his trailer when he walks in absolutly furious. He didn't get the bid for ATO, the one fraternity he wanted. So we all just kind of let him chill out and guess who shows up..Chelsea of course. Well I stuck by what I said and I was never mean to her and I didn't say anything to Tyler since he was stressed. Well this girl doesn't say hello to me or anything, just walks right by me to the inside and plans to stay the whole time. I was hiding it but I was shaking from anger and plenty of other emotions, if my hands had been out of my pockets they would've visibly been able to be seen moving! So Clara notices that my face is just a little stressed looking(I swear I was trying to hide it!) and decides that we should go for a walk. So I explain about what I explained to you in the beginning and she told me that Chelsea had intentionally planned to come over and act saccrine sweet just to piss me off. Well congratulations to Chelsea, it worked. She didn't need to do that. Tyler and I are just friends. *Sidenote: tyler and chelsea get back together while I am in the trailer. Real nice right?* So I tell Clara that I am driving back home. So I go inside to grab my keys and tell Tyler I'll see him later. He jumps down my throat and says that I am being a bitch and should make an effort to be friends with her. I keep my temper down but tell him that I explained why this sucks so bad earlier in the week. So as I turn to walk out, Chelsea is sitting on the couch looking at me with the biggest fake smile. I just keep walking but that is the absolute closest I have ever been to punching someone in the face. By the way she is dressed to kill. All we were doing is hanging out. I wonder why she did that??? hmmm..GRRR! So I make it to the car before I lose control for a second. So I leave to start the two hour drive home..in the rain...at night when Tyler calls and tells me to come back. I calmly explain what I've already explained at least three times and he blows up. He starts cussing and calling me a terrible friend because I won't be her friend. It means a lot to him he says. And I ask him if my feelings mean anything to him. I told him I'm not going to bad mouth her, I'm not going to start anything with her, I just don't want to be buddy buddy with her. This is when he says if I am not friends with her, I am not friends with him. So basically I feel as though I've lost a friendship in the course of an hour. I felt completely betrayed and stabbed in the back. Why was he not even looking at my feelings. As soon as it came to what she wanted, he was blind to everything else. So two hours later I get home.
I don't here from him until today: Monday. And it's not to apologize. He asks if I've decided to be friends with Chelsea. I told him no and I tell him that it hurt really badly that he gave me that ultimatium. And that if feels like our friendship means nothing. He says so what and says it still stands. About twenty minutes later I ask him to explain again why it was so important to him that I like her and be buddy buddy with her even though it hurts me and she was never nice to me. He says "because". That's the end of that convo. Chelsea then takes the incintive to text me and bitch me out. The short version is that she says that because Tyler wants her to, she is "tolerating" me. Now according to Tyler she actually wanted to be friends with me. Bull. So I proceed to finally snap at her. Tyler calls and says we're done as friends because I insulted his girlfriend. I mean it's not like she didn't say anything.. So as of that point our friendship is truly over. And then later he tells me that I was a terrible friend, not just now, but all summer. And the ultimatium still stands. Well then I told him that he was actually being a pretty terrible friend. Friendship doesn't force unnecessary pain on the other friend. He said we were never true friends and that he didn't care anymore.
End of story. What's really sad is that I considered him one of my very very good friends and I trusted him completely. Guess I read that all wrong.
My opinion now on what TRUE friendship is. Friendship doesn't allow something to hurt one knowingly. Friendship is not based on the idea of "well if I'll do this for you, then you should do this for me". Friends do not verbally abuse the other one-they may fight but you still should be concious of what you say. FRIENDSHIP IS UNCONDITIONAL.
Ok so I don't know if really portrayed very well the hurt and betrayal I felt and the degree of mean Tyler and Chelsea went to but it was bad. I don't do this with friends ever. Sure we fight but never like this. And what sucks is that I still want his friendship back. I am stupid.

Losing a Friend

Heartbreaking,

An unfullfilled hole.

A knife in the back,

Twisted several times.

Unexpected. Like walking into a brick wall.

End of the memories,

The 'good times',

The laughter.

It leaves you winded,

And brings you to your knees.

Unstoppable tears,

Remorse for the broken trust.

Emotional upheaval,

Unable to forget.

Sadness fighting anger.

I miss you already,

You don't deserve it.

Yeah, it hurts. Tonight sucked. Add in four hours of pointless driving and it was just the icing on the cake. Great first Friday in college. :/

Man Dang!

So these past two weeks have been crazy! Moving into the dorms, preseason camp for the Auburn University Marching Band, and of course my first college classes!

So starting at the top: moving out....wow! I've been waiting for that one for over a year..but really even though I didn't move far, it was still sad. I still missed my home and bed. And my parents and sister. It's scary too! Not too mention having to say good bye to some friends. It made me incredibly ad when Tyler left because we've gotten to be such good friends and who knows when we'll see each other again..I mean he's only about two hours away but we're both so busy-me with flag and football and him with rush and other things... But besides the sad part my room is pretty ballin! Except that I'm gonna have to move everything out when the new furniture gets here soon... :p

Ok so then last week(August 8-16) was AUMB preseason camp. That was an insane week. Our days consisted of waking up for seven thirty am RAT(rookie auburn tiger) drills, practice outside for four hours, a small lunch break, pracice for four and a half more hours, a small break, and then practice for another three. So pretty much we practiced from seven thirty am until eight at night.. LONG days. haha. But we did learn our entire show (The Rolling Stones by the way) and our crazy exciting pregame (including the "jog"..ha! more like a sprint with high knees..btw if you don't know what it looks like look up 'Auburn Univerity Pregame' on Youtube) plus the march around for the stadium and stand tunes/cheers. But I do have a very interesting story that happened the monday of band camp...So I got a concussion..A girl was throwing a rifle and she overthrew it and cracked me in the back of the head. Now let me tell you that show rifles weigh way more than a flag ever will and are solid..so that hurt. Apparently people heard the crack across the practice field. So this made my vision funny, made me dizzy, constant headaches, and nauseous so practice was kind of a bitch for the rest of the week..especially since I couldn't do it full out because jumping and running and getting hit in the head were not allowed(and seeing as we have tosses in our routines it was slightly difficult lol). But besides that the team bonding stuff was fun..like watching the olympics..oh michael phelps :)

Finally camp ends and college begins! My schedule is not too bad-bio, psych, hospitality and management, honors writing seminar, tiger eyes and band. It's really weird after high school. The classes are so short-only fifty minutes-compared to the ninety six minute classes in high school. Not to mention we have breaks all day..And attendance at some is not mandatory-but im going! We had our first pep rally for "Welcome Week" and I got to perform in it with the band so that was a blast. And singing the Alma Mater for the first time with a lot of my classmates gave me chills. I can't wait to just get inot the swing of things.. The only thing i miss is seeing my besties everyday as we walk to class..I never see them...it's such a big campus and so many people..twenty three thousand.. WAR EAGLE!

Summer Pictures

So here are some pictures from the previous blog..

St. Joe's..the ladies
Me and Meagan..Love the faces!
The cousins at the 4th!
Cooling off on that hot hot beach trip
Ben, Kiera, and me at my graduation!

Summer's End in Sweet Home Alabama

Well I just figured I should do a little blog about Summer 2008! It was crazy, amazing, sad, fufilling and frustrating all at the same time. It is definitely one to remember. From traveling all over the place to just hanging out at home by the pool, it was a fun one.

Well let's see it all started with my senior youth beach trip during Senior Week to St. Joseph's Peninsula in Florida. This was just about the best beach trip I've ever taken. We spent the days doing whatever we pleased including chillin on the beach and messing around in the water. There was one day where we took out a kayak and of course with us and our luck we got flipped but still besides getting bruised in the ribs it was a ton of fun! We made homeade sushi and ate a lot of food and stayed up close to dawn everynight. It was our last celebration as being seniors in the class of 2008.

Graduation: May 23, 2008! Royal blue robes, moving the tassel, singing the Alma Mater. The whole deal! It was amazing! And I was so happy that my little cousins and Uncle Dave and Aunt Shannon made it. Along with my grandparents of course! Besides this being the symbol of the end of high school, the most memorable thing was getting my eyelashes cut off and getting sliced right under my eye by a graduation cap. I won't forget my graduation. lol.

Next came a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean! Coco Cay, St. Thomas, St. Maarten! Meagan and I had a blast on the Mariner of the Seas Royal Caribbean. We ate about a months worth of delicious food in a week. No joke the french fries were amazing! And so was the seafood and fancy desserts of course! We loved Coki Beach (yummy mango drinks!) on St. Thomas and all of the wonderful shopping with our freebie coupons! Jewelry galore!! One of the most fun times on the ship was sneaking into the Dragon's Lair and dancing until late! It was an experience alright. And I can't forget the time Meagan decided to lay across the railing on the top deck just to scare me to death. We met a lot of cool people... Yay Canada!! And we did some pretty cool stuff like parasailing and snorkling..except that we thought mom drowned because she got with the other group and we couldn't find her. Good times, good times. But seriously most of that trip was absolutly amazing!

Ok ok so the 4th of July annual family reunion wasn't too bad either. Spending days on the lake..watching Ben go crazy everytime he got to swim an Kiera practically cling to whoever held her near the water was priceless. Not too mention getting to hang out with all of the extended family who live forever and a day away from Alabama. Cookie cake was definitely the dessert of the trip and yoo hoo is still the drink to beat! The three older "kids" (that being me, jess,and kendall) rocked out in the mustang, and crazy makeovers were done on the last night. It was a fast trip as always but still it was fun. I miss everyone so damn much!

My last trip of the summer was to the beach again except this time we camped. It was quite hot and humid and I don't recommend camping in the summer. But the beach was just as beautiful as always. Mollers, Joe, Tyler, and I had a blast swimming around, snorkeling in the bay, and eating...haha of course. And then there was our quest to find food at ten at night in the quiet town on St. George's Island...We ended up at a gas station where I was asked where "Lake Bum" is.. *Note: there is no Lake Bum.. It was on my shorts...meaning I am a lake bum.* Funny times.

So besides the trips there was hanging out at Target as we always do..except the popcorn went up sixty two cents..sad sad day...and swimming at Molly's and Jasmine's. Oh and of course all of our trips to Insomnia with Tyler and Joe. And the constant hanging out at Tylers..oh his poor poor grass. :) And let's not forget the parties and dancing at Sky Bar.

Oh and what would summer be without guys.. :) Fun times, sad times, intense times, and crazy funny times. Ole Chadaroosky(Chad) on the ship was a cute little fling. But the one that I'll actually remember was Tyler. Late nights with him were sweet and he was a good guy but I sure thought about stuff too much. I thought way too much before I jumped. It sucks that vision is only perfect in retrospect... *sigh*. He turned out to be a great great friend though. Not to mention dealing with Jasmine and Brandon and his ridiculousness.

So this summer was quite a full one. And a memorable one. So all I can say is bring on college!

The random things you should know..

Samantha Spring Trupp

1. I am a college freshman at Auburn University in the fall of 2008.

2. I grew up in Alabama and never moved.

3. I am 18 and tall.

4. My full name is samantha spring trupp but i prefer one my nicknames: sam, trupples, slim, waffles, sammy. By the way there are funny stories to some of those.

5. I am a memeber of the 2008 Tiger Eyes Flag Line in the AU Marching Band. This means i will get to wear a pretty costume and twirl a flag during halftime shows.

6. I have played flute since the seventh grade and piano since third (i think) and truly enjoy making music.

7. I played soccer for ten years. Rec, club/travel and high school.

8. I even tried dance-ballet, jazz, and hip hop. This was quite an experience but I loved it..but it was purely fun. I really don't think i have a lot of talent in that area. :)

9. I consider myself a very laid back person and i laugh at everything. I'm the kind of person who laughs and people give me weird looks because it's really not funny.

10. I am a very smart person but i can make some pretty dumb comments.

11. I was raised a Lutheran and I love my little church.

13. I can keep up with the boys when it comes to watching and talking about football. I love going to games and cheering like a maniac.

13. I am a sucker for happy endings. And I am a hopelss romantic and sometimes too much of an idealist/dreamer.

14. But i can be very level headed and sometimes i think too much before i jump.

15. I absolutley love quotes. All kinds. Funny, inspirational, love, famous, stuff my wonderful friends say..

16. Speaking of friends. I have the best in the world. No other person's are better. I am very protective of them and I may be one of the youngest but I am the mama of the group.

17. I seriously think southern people are the nicest ever. And yes i use "ya'll" all of the time. Not to mention the that some of the best things are from the south such as sweet tea and southern cooking. I am a southern girl. Now and forever. I have a slight twange on my accent but that's fine with me.

18. I am one of the most trusting people you'll probably ever meet. And one of the most open minded.

19. I say I am a republican in case you were wondering. but i am pretty much smack in the middle of the spectrum.

20. I am a very independent person but it's always nice to know that family and friends are always there.

21. I am a picture fiend. I have thousands of pictures. Personally I think that there's no better way to remember something than a photograph.

22. I don't give up on people and I dont stay angry for long. It takes too much out of me.

23. I am a "the glass is half full" kind of girl. Bad stuff has happened and always will but it's not something i can control. I have to find that silver lining.

24. I am a rollar coaster fanatic. The bigger and faster they are the better.

25. I am deathly afraid of snakes. My biggest fear is losing someone or being forgotten.

26. I could eat mashed potatoes, chocolate strawberries, and sushi (not together of course) any time anywhere. Yum!

27. I am a random random person. But I hate to be late. It makes me mad when people cannot be on time. It's not that hard.

28. I truly believe that you should enjoy everything you can at every chance you get because you may never get that chance again.

I'm sure i could say more but really this is long enough.