please and thank you

just go home, back to new jersey, and stay there. stay away from my home town and let me be happy.

you are a player and a heartbreaker. neither auburn nor me needs anymore of those hangin around.

so get out. and stay far away. out of sight, out of mind thank you very much. have fun with you new little girlfriend.

and i promise you, i won't be here waiting when you come back to school in august.

so buh bye darlin. you lose.

Words to Live By

I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work.

I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully.

I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men.

I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports that develop these qualities.

I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all.

I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all.

I believe in my Country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by "doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God."

And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it.
-George Petrie (1945)

Focus!

beach beach beach beach beach beach

and a little more beach beach beach!

spring break 2011 come on!

A Royal Screw Up

1. i forgot to write down a couple checks i wrote so now i have a very tiny amount of money
2. Spring Break is in two weeks. number one now sucks even more. how am i going to eat and party for seven days at the beach with no money.
3. I have two midterms and two exams between wednesday and thursday and am so unprepared and starting to panic.
4. i have my nursing interview saturday and im terrified.
5. i had my heart broken by a player who played me like a boss. i fell hard for him and half of that is my fault for not stopping myself from letting go of everything. it hurts so much. i was so stupid.
6. everything just feels so unstable and i'm about to lose it.

God help me, please.
bring me back home to that girl i was raised to be.

*I Still Believe in Auburn and Love It*

toomer's corner may never be the same again. we may never be able to use it as a celebration for a tiger win or be able to take wedding pictures underneath them or just purely enjoy the trees because of a malicious act by a rival fan.
but you can't ruin our spirit.
you can't tear the auburn family apart.
try and try again, it still won't happen.
so war eagle.
forever.

Heartbroken

i want to stop hurting.
please?

WTF

you know when you can tell you're getting pushed aside for another girl? yea well knowing doesn't make it any easier. he's just after the next "new" thing. i'm hurting. and to rub it in even more, she just happens to be all cute and little and loud and pretty and a majorette.

damn. and i really liked him too.

i hate heartbreak.

Hope

"don't you wanna stay here a little while?
don't you wanna hold each other tight?
don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
don't you wanna stay here a little while?
we can make forever feel this way,
don't you wanna stay?"


i want him to tell me this. please.

A Continuation

new hair, new attitude. (see previous post)

Times Are A-Changin

what the hell am i doing?! making bad decisions that's what. and i need to stop, i know that.

**but i don't want to**

it's so nice just letting go and not trying to be perfect. just doing what i want without thinking. it feels good to be bad.

what a night! here's to everything that's good in life :)
wareaglehey
f***all haters

What A Fall Semester!

WAR EAGLE! just about sums it up.

It's Just a Blur of Old Memories

i was just looking back over my blogs(which i started two years ago almost) and i don't even know the girl who started it anymore. she's nothing but a shadow of a memory now.
that girl was innocent and care free.
where did she go?
a little of her needs to come back.
please.
i need to learn how to open my heart again.

Free As We'll Ever Be..

LIFE IS GOOD.
love god, love people

Honey, I Pray For You

So Tyler is offcially gone, friends or otherwise. he's the one i have more than a couple blogs about. basically i've fought really hard to maintain his friendship and he was doing well until spring break. since then he's become even more disrespectful and cruel. about a week ago he was so nasty and mean for no reason at all that i was just shocked. he was cursing at me and threatening to never talk to me again and blah blah. so a couple days later i told him i wanted to stop fighting and come to a peace. he said it was impossible and that i was a backstabber who he couldn't be associated with. ok. whatever. it was bull crap. i'll never get straight answers and i'm tired of this crap. the manipulation, emotional and verbal attacks. for two years. i'm DONE! he's a screwed up person and has serious issues and i've finally realzied i don't have to take the disrespect and intentional cruelness. it's not my job to fix him or save him or whatever. and as much as i'm that person who doesn't want to give up on somebody, when my personal emotional state is messed with so much that i can barely get through, something's gotta give. and he made his choice. just wish i had done it first. because over the last couple years he's been the backstabber and the one who caused so much pain to me. so buh bye.
i'll just sum up my feelings towards him with a song:

"Sometimes we get angry but we must not condemn,
Let the good lord do his job, you just pray for them...

I pray your brakes go out runnin down a hill,
I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like i'd like to.
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin high when your engine stalls.
I pray all your dreams never come true.
Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you."

<3 you forever, tyler. (psh. yeah right! :p)

It Had Better Be Tonight

so tiger eye tryouts were today..my third year..holy crap! when did this happen???? anyways i made it and will be participating in the Auburn University Marching Band Flag Line for the 2010 football season!! war damn eagle!

Today Was A Fairy Tale Kind Of Day

absolutely beautiful snow in auburn! it was a gorgeous winter wonderland for one and a half days (enough for me by the way) and it was mesmerizing. snow falling is probably one of the most beautiful things in the whole world. there is just nothing else like it. OMGOSH! it was a fairy tale kind of day.

Catch Up

outback bowl pep rally..sheikra rollar coaster in background :)
kendall and me on christmas

molly and me in dallas!

me and a friend at a party

me and my best friend in the world, molly!

happy halloween!!

kisses for aubie

well hey ya'll, it's been a while. things have changed a bit since the last time i wrote. people i considered best friends "forgot" me, causing quite an emotionally painful fall semester. a lot of anger and a lot of tears. then comes christmas break/new year and i finally accept that there are some things that will never get an answer to the question "why?" and that i didn't do anything wrong and it wasn't my fault. recently i was able to finally talk to these people and explain all of the hurt i felt and they apologized, sincerely. the reasoning to them was they were so busy and they weren't purposefully ignoring me and after i tried to talk to them around october they realized i was hurt and angry, and decided to let me "cool off". this was dumb of them, i mean, hello!, it's me..i would never have thought of that. ugh! so anyway, now i have to decide if i can let the hurt go and forget. because i've forgiven them, i just need to figure out if i want them in my lives. this may seem a little dramatic that i would consider letting go forever these two friends after this but i promise there is other stuff that i don't care to discuss on a blog. this whole thing was the icing on the cake of a very rocky end to summer.

well anyways with this i've made new friends who seem to want me around and are guinuenly happy when i come to hangout. but still it was especially hard early on in the semester. being around them made me so sad it hurt. but little by little the hurt eased. yeah i still miss "the group" but maybe i'm better off this way. change happens and it has to be accepted or else you'll go crazy. living in the past does absolutely nothing for you. besides focus on the past=missing out on the present=bad! so..

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Ok, in other news. AUMB was as fun as ever! we did a spicy latin show that included gorgeous flags, high kicks, splits, and all around sassy hip shakin! we also did a fun show that included a gospel tune, when the saints go marching in, and south ramparts. how many times does halloween fall on a home football saturday? not many..so we go to do such a fun theme show including thriller (of course), night on bald mountain, the shining/halloween movie themes, and phantom of the opera. cap off the season with a fantastic bowl trip to tampa for a week! :)

parties and boys and such were fun too. :) the fun stuff that comes a long with college. oh and i learned how to really study. ended the semester with a good GPA! :)

oh yeah..and i've finally decided on my major. im going to be a nurse...most likely a pediatric nurse to be more accurate. i really want to be able to maybe help a child and if i cannot do that, at least make their trip to the doctor- whether it's for a check up or for a serious illness- a little more fun..maybe bring a smile to a hurting face.

Wait...I'm Not a Freshman Anymore? Whaaaat??

2009-2010 AU Flag Line :)

2009-2010 Auburn University Tiger Eyes

And I Thank My Lucky Stars I'm Alive and Well

Crying is not exactly what most people-including myself-would call fun. But you know what, sometimes letting those tears cascade without attempting to stem the flow is so very good for your well being. Crying releases that poison that has been coarsing through you for how ever long. You know that poison I'm talking about-sadness, hate, anger, whatever-the kind that is so suffocating that it feels like the weight cannot be lifted. Crying lightens the load, if only for a short time. But that short bit of freedom is enough to make you realize that you'll be ok in the end. So let it out. Tears have a surprising healing power that should not be underestimated.