Sunday, April 5, 2009

What A Desperatly Sad Time

One bright spot: I made the Tiger Eyes Flag Line again for the 2009-2010 season! :)
These last couple weeks have been terrible ones. On the not as important side I recieved a heartache (yes just an ache not a break) by the same guy'd think I'd learn but Idon't. He's says I'm special and beautiful and he wants to be with me but then decides he just can't have a girlfriend right now and rips the floor out from under my feet. Time to move on for real this time I think. But I really cared about him. I felt safe with him and trusted him and believed everything he said. And maybe he really has too much stuff going on to treat a girlfriend right or maybe not but regardless of the truth, I'm left hurt.
Getting a little more serious. My best friend is gone. Not physically, but I've lost her. She's not my best friend anymore. We don't have that thing anymore where we always talk, always can tell whether the other needs a smile, a hand to hold, a goofy girls night...I've seen her maybe twice in the last month. And it hurts so horribly bad. She was there during the worst time in mylife a few years back, she was there through the first heartbreaks and silly crushes and first kisses. I could always count on her to understnad, to empathize, to laugh with, to cry with and vice versa. Now if we hang out, there are a lot more awkward silences and nothing to talk about. It's not there anymore and it breaks my heart. I'll always be here if she needs me of course but I don't know if we'll ever be the same again.
Now on to the serious stuff. A student was killed in a car crash last Thursday night. His name was Brandon. He was 19, graduated with me from Auburn High, and was a freshman at Auburn. I wasn't close to him but it shook me when I heard. Not only was it someone from my school, but he was MY age. It could've been anyone of my close friends, it could've been me. It's not fair that someone who as just a freshman in college was killed in a freak car accident involving hydroplaning and another car. He was only beginning to make his way in the world. Why does shit like this happen? It's just so scary to think that life is so cruel sometimes. It makes me terribly sad when I think of how close to home this could've hit. And when I think of the parents who had to bury their child parent should ever EVER have to go through that..tears just fall. It's just not right. I ask in prayer: Dear Lord please be with the family, girlfriend, and friends he left behind. Please help them grieve and pull through. Help them to accept this terrible tragedy and understand that they will see him again some day in heaven. Help them look to you for peace and and a sense of calm when they feel like they are slipping under. Just be with them. And please take Brandon into your arms in heaven. In Your name I pray, Amen.

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